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Friday, November 8, 2013

Fat with the Promise of Lean Streaks


PERSONAL TRAINER

 
Late harvest saw us lifting bales to trailers
And up from the trailers to shippon lofts
Using a 2-pronged pitchfork or pikel
Jabbed centre-bale and hefted up in one sweep.
 
At the glooming of a late summer’s day
The last loads would be brought in
As a chill caught sweat and chaff
With aches akimbo as the tractor backed up.
 
Dank bales leaved with Cheshire autumn
From the flats along the Ankersplatt
A fair jag on and one last tussle
To put them overhead aired aloft.
 
“Tha mun shape lad
Dunna be like th’owd woman
With a belly-full of butter milk
An wimmy-wammy i’the bitlin.
 
There inna any way but reet.
Tha mun stand reet lad -
Jab an swing in one go
Shifting as th’weight rises”.
 
Big men and me a youth of sixteen
Jokes and hard judgments -
But they are long gone
Mown down by salty home-cured bacon -
Fat with the promise of lean streaks .
 
 
 
Late in life I have come back to the gym
And succumbed to the debonaire charm
Of my personal trainer Maria
Who comes from Wroclaw or ‘vrotswaf.
 
She has devised a program to improve me
And I stand looking at myself in the mirror
Holding a weighted ball out-stretched
Balancing on a BoSu and bending low.
 
I try to think of new things to say or ask
About Poland to reduce the pain -
But then she has me bridging
And holding for 10 more – she can’t count.
 
“That’s very good”
She says unconvincingly:
“Lift your tummy up
And squeeze your glutes.
 
Take a break if you are dizzy -
Next time bring a water bottle.
Now for your favourite
The lunges, leading leg straight at first”.
 
Beautiful people in pink and black lycra
Pounding music and purposeful endeavour
And I am still here
Ready for a chick-pea and kinwa salad at the Maranui -
Fat with the promise of lean streaks.
 

 
 

 

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